Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Now with a proper cover by Patrick Crooker. Go visit his website at  www.crooksandcrafts.com.

Episode 14 – April  2016

How do you keep a secret? Should you even try and keep a secret? But I’m jumping ahead of myself…

This past week has been great. Kerstin and her friends have helped me more than I could have ever expected. I have a kitchen job now (ironically, at the same cafe where I recently liberated some wallets), a safe place to stay and rest for a while. (I need lots of proper rest. Steve visited me once again this week, but it was a more amicable experience than usual. Only gave me slight night terrors and had me waking up choking on fear. No big deal, really…)

I feel ashamed that I’m keeping secrets from these wonderful people. I feel I should share what happened to me, just to tell someone… just to show them I reciprocate their trust. But how do I tell them the truth, or my version of the truth about me? Everything that happened since I left the institute sounds insane, even to me, they would probably think I lost my mind. I’m actively debating showing them the videos, but I don’t know how to introduce the whole thing… What should I say about their origin? If I lie, that’s probably worse than keeping it a secret. Besides, how do I explain my presence in the footage? And what do I tell them about the actual event? I don’t have answers, so how could I explain any of it? Besides, how do you tell someone you’ve killed? I can’t admit to murder, even if it was self-defence. Sigh…

Coming clean will have to wait in any case, as I haven’t seen Kerstin and the others since Monday. They went for a conference in Germany and then plan to travel around for a while. So they basically left me, a complete stranger, alone in their house. Fascinating and generous people, giving me this level of trust. So I decided to take care of the house as if it was my own. Pack the fridge, cook, clean and all that jazz.

I also continued working on the files from last week. I’ve managed to decipher what appears to be several independent projects that the institute is working on. I’ve also decided to refer to them as Koldberg from now on, it’s the official name after all, and it makes them more personal. It’s a way of identifying the ‘enemy’. I never thought it would come this far. I’m not even sure, if they are an enemy, although many things seem to indicate that. Let’s just say they’re people I need to learn more about. I decided to start mapping everything I discovered. Since I’m by myself, I’ve set up a little research area in the common room. The room has a large couch (don’t tell anyone that I prefer sleeping there as opposed to the tent), a TV connected to a gaming console, and a large dining table that now serves as my desk. All basic and functional.

On the wall I’ve hung a large world map I got from the bookstore, along with a bunch of post-its and markers to make notes. Some of the entries include timestamps with numbers that I believe are coordinates. So far I’ve added all those to the map and highlighted clusters of interest based on the project titles, along with any information I could easily discern. Besides Project Dee, which seems to cluster around Middle and South America, I found references to:

• Project Clarke – clustered around the UK, and certain area in the US, such as Silicon Valley, plus some areas in China. Might be some kind to technology they’re developing or testing. One incident is marked right on top of Koldberg.
• Project Jones – prevalent in Africa and the Middle East, but also to various places in Russia, Scandinavia and China. No other information on this one, could mean anything
• Project Brehm – seems to focus on areas with a lot of nature (e.g. rainforests or remote tundra). References to flora and fauna are abundant.

I tried googling some of the names like Dee and Brehm with little success. Nothing really jumped out at me. There was a John Dee, advisor to the queen, and an Alfred Brehm, a German Zoologist, but does that mean anything? Historical and literary figures aside, I still have no idea what to look for without additional information. For all I know, they could be surnames of Project Managers, scientists at Koldberg, or picked at random from a book. Also, the file seems to have dependent files with more information, but I haven’t identified those yet. Not even sure if I have them. I’ll do a deeper dive into the files over the weekend.

I should also figure out a way to add the map and all my conclusions to my diary when I’m done, which might be a bit challenging since it is now literally covered in notes and scribbles. And I mean covered. The world is 70 percent water and if you use my map as a reference you would swear that water is yellow.

The timeline is also interesting. I don’t know what the individual events represent, the references to casualties are unnerving to say the least, but some seem to repeat themselves. It took me a day to realise that at least four events are recurring. Like the Machu Picchu incident, the first entry I found, has repeated itself seven times. Its anniversary is coming up in 6 weeks time. Maybe I should go and have a look for myself. Figure out what it is and what these people are up to. I only need to figure out how to travel halfway around the world without a passport, knowledge of the local language or any money to speak of, in less than five weeks. Sigh…

At least I’ll earn a little something tonight; I got another shift in the kitchen at the cafe. My third this week. I’m told Fridays can be really busy, but the barista promised me that when they have time, they will teach me some of the tricks of the trade, like how to make proper milk foam and draw shapes using the foam, a spoon and powdered cocoa. Can’t hurt to build my skillset a bit. 🙂

I still don’t know what to do about myself, but I’ve decided that I’m done being afraid. I need answers. And I’m going to get them somehow. Did I mention I found a few folders named Tools, which seem to contain web tools of some kind? So I’ll continue the research and play with the tools after my shift when I’m buzzing on caffeine.

Questions, questions, and more questions! At least I am making some kind of progress, I just don’t know what it’s towards.

End of episode 14. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Stay tuned!

Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Now with a proper cover by Patrick Crooker. Go visit his website at  www.crooksandcrafts.com.

Episode 13 – April  2016

My sleep hasn’t improved this week, but at least Undead Steve and the sphere have stopped visiting me in my dreams. And I do feel a lot more positive. Kerstin, Queen of the Forest and apparent good samaritan, invited me to stay at their place today. Well… More that I could pitch my tent in her garden, use their facilities, and have permanent access to Wi-Fi. I’m still afraid to let anyone get close to me, but considering I’m also out of money and food, I’m running out of options. I would prefer not to starve AND have to hunt for a public restroom, so I decided to accept.

The offer came after I managed to run into her not once or twice, but three times this week. Must be kismet. Or I just happened to be camped next to her usual running route and I haven’t been hiding that well. We’ve talked extensively about my supposed trip, which she clearly thought was a veiled way of saying “homeless”. Technically that’s not far from the truth, so I didn’t correct her, just let her make her own conclusions.

I also learned a bit about her; she’s a college student and lives with three others (Dennis, James and Christina) in a shared house near the center of Folkestone. Apparently all 4 of them are also volunteers in the same worldwide student organisation, and thought living and working together was the best of both worlds. I’m not entirely sure what they do. Kerstin spoke so fast and with so much enthusiasm, interspersing her sentences with so many acronyms that I almost thought it was a different language. I think the organisation is called AISEK? Seems an important project for them.

I still can’t believe how incredibly generous they are. Sure, it’s just a tent in a garden but it’s also a break from my usual routine: finding public toilets, hoping my camp didn’t get ransacked, and begging/stealing to get something to eat. Had to steal again this week, which I always consider an unnecessary risk (although my technique has improved). I can’t afford to get caught, the unwanted attention could prove detrimental. So all things considered, Kerstin and her friends are providing me with some much needed leeway, which I deeply appreciate, as it’s also giving me time to think. I need to make long term plans, such as where to go, how to build a base of operations, what to do, etc.

When I was still living in the woods (and I wasn’t stealing for food) I spent a lot of time thinking about the videos. I came to a tentative conclusion on what happened, except it’s insane and scary and clearly not normal. I could also be wrong… The sphere in the video is a portal of some kind and either the sphere itself, or whatever came through it affected my brain. Maybe opening the portal disrupted or altered my brain patterns and shut me down temporarily, which would explain the amnesia. It could also account for the difference in my and Anthony’s behaviour, which is why I make everyone who knew him so sad. Or maybe what affected me was an agent of some kind (like a gas) that doesn’t appear on the video. I mean, the sphere thing is clearly there. Slightly distorted, but otherwise clear as day.

Not that this speculation is anything useful right now. It’s still just a theory, yet questions and theories keep piling up with little to no resolution. Is it really a portal? If so, where would a portal like this go to or come from? Is the Institute playing with portals? Did they actually make it or are they studying it? They deal in advanced technology, so it’s not that big of a stretch to think they’re directly involved. But to what end?

I also found a folder filled with some kind of incident reports. Except they use a ton of codewords and acronyms (more acronyms, bah!). I copied one instance.

Project: Dee

QEL: 20.684104, -88.567311

Date/time: UTC-03:44, May 1st, 2015

Type: Unknown

Casualties: 5

Notes: Arrived late. No apparent artefacts. No temporal fluctuations. Event appears to be seasonal. Other party not identifiable.

What is this project Dee? And what does all this mean? There are several similar projects, I have no idea what they mean. What the hell is the Institute into?

I don’t understand any of this, not really. And does it really matter? What if I’m I’m 100% right and the Institute is behind the sphere, whatever happened to me and who knows how many freaky experiments? I mean, what the hell can I do about it? I can’t just infiltrate the Koldberg Institute to get my answers. I’m only one man, and I don’t know anything about the place. All I’ve seen is the front door, some corridors and the kitchen, but that’s it. God, I am so confused all the time. At this point I’m not even sure I want to know what happened. I just want to be left alone. Maybe I should just drop this whole idea, be focused on getting out of here and never consider going back.

On a brighter note, I’m really looking forward to tonight, which is pizza night. Kerstin told me I need to gain some weight. I’m too skinny, which according to her makes me look unhealthy. So the pizza is her treat, which makes me feel a little bit better. Finding Kerstin does seem like a very fortuitous coincidence, but I do think this sense of joy is temporary. I can’t rely on her indefinitely, I need to learn to look after myself and get myself ready for a future. And as that future potentially includes a lot of running and hiding, I should probably take up some kind of exercise. Since my encounter with Steve I felt extremely weak and vulnerable, but I’ve also read up on the health benefits of exercise. Maybe I’ll try running or yoga. Kerstin even offered to take me on a run with her.  

My to-do for the next weeks:

• Find a way to save money
• Find a way to make money to save
• Find a way to get out of here (should have another look at the options getting out of the country. Is the eurotunnel an option?)
• Find a way to decipher those net logs
• Find a way to set up goals for the future besides being nice and generous to my new friends
• Find a way to not use the phrase “Find a way”

Phew… I think the pizza just arrived. This feels like my first real break. Going to enjoy it.

End of episode 13. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Thank you for reading. In the coming weeks I will be uploading a few extra posts. Stay tuned!

Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Still going strong with the placeholder image for now but should change soon.

Episode 10 – March 2016

This is so fucked. This is so fucked. This is so fucked.

Steve is dead.

Had to stay a few days more, but when I was leaving he tried to knock me out. I don’t know why, but Inger might ordered it. I guess they were watching me through the smartphone the whole time and my little act was discovered. When I managed to avoid the initial blow, he snapped. Just snapped. You could see it in his eyes. Suddenly I was less than an animal,  a bug to be squashed, when I dared to fight back, when I dared to defy him.

That’s when he came at me, like he was possessed by some demon, all fury and aggression. He pulled a knife from his pocket and cut me again and again. My arms got really badly lacerated, but he was too aggressive for his own good. I managed to dodge a slash at my neck and trip him up. He stabbed himself. The knife was deep in his bicep, blood gushing out. He must have hit an artery, but he didn’t even care. He jerked out the blade, but it was slippery with blood and slipped from his fingers. So I picked it up to defend myself. I don’t recall many details after that but it wasn’t a quick death. He came at me again, but I somehow stabbed him in the stomach and then held him down. He couldn’t use his injured arm, I just held him there until he bled out.

The room got really really quiet. Some time passed as I sat there still holding him, but nobody came to check. None of the neighbours called the police. (Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any neighbours here at any time; just Steve, and the landlord on occasion.) I realised that I had to move, when I noticed that Steve’s door was open. On Willy’s recommendation I read Dexter a few weeks ago and Steve’s room looked just like a murder room described in the book… Was it made for me? I mean, who else would it be for? Sheets of plastic covered the walls, ceiling and floor, bone saw and other instruments of pain in the corner, black sacks prepped. He was planning for the eventuality of murdering me. So I left immediately.

Right now I’m sitting behind the train station, in a small patch of forest, bandaging my arms and writing this. I don’t think I was followed, as I kept to the shadows and side roads to get here, but I can’t be certain. I changed my clothes before leaving, grabbed everything I could. I lost the memory stick, which flew off the table to some hidden dark location during the scuffle and I couldn’t find it again. What do I do now? I need help. But what the hell can I do? Who do I turn to? I have no ID, there is no record of me anywhere. None I know of… Anyone could assume it was my murder room (except I would use lye with a heat source and a bathtub) and arrest me on the spot.

I just hope I made it out in secret. I can’t take this any more, I have to leave and go as far away I can from all the lies… Just go anywhere I can be anonymous and think things through. I did consider telling Willy, but I don’t want to involve him; it might even turn out that he’s is part of this…

Fuck!

End of episode 10. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Thank you for reading.

Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Still going strong with the placeholder image for now but should change soon.

Episode 9 – March 2016

Most of this week I spent in my room faking the flu and making plans. Steve and Inger have been checking up on me daily, but I’ve been able to keep them out. If they watch me through the smartphone, they would only see me covered in blankets, drinking tea, and furiously blowing my nose. The deception seems to have worked well enough. Everything is now packed and ready to go and not a moment too soon. I managed to obtain most of the travel gear I need through a variety of means like borrowing, shopping and stealing, the latter being Steve’s wallet since I’ll need cash. I’m not even going to apologise to Steve, this is the last time he calls me “Anthony”.

As I’m writing this, I’m downloading as much information as I can manage from the database the software agent connects to. Probably a fraction of what’s actually on it, but I don’t have more time. Once the hard-drive is full, I’m gone. I’ve found a treasure trove of transcriptions (mainly interviews and research notes), some schematics and blueprints, deep web tools and resources, and the remaining surveillance videos, which are the main reason I’m leaving right now. Why is all this stuff even on an externally facing database? That doesn’t seem secure. Must make a mental note on that.

Anyway, I’ve re-examined the first video intensely and it’s terrifying. That orb or sphere thing appeared around me and not in front of the camera as I initially thought. When stepping through the video frame by frame, it’s clear that it appears out of nowhere around me. Does that mean I was targeted or was it accidental? I still don’t know what it is. The room itself is very spartan so any guesses to its purpose is futile.

The second video shows Inger running to my aid after the orb evaporates (?) along with the lab personnel coming in left and right. I recognise some of them from my visits. Except on my visits they were friendly, helpful and unarmed; in the video they carried rifles of some kind.

That’s not the reason I’m leaving now though. It’s not even Inger. She seemed frightened, maybe even hysterical about my condition. No, it’s because of Steve. He’s been watching me for months now, following me, spying on me… and in the third video he puts a gun to my unconscious head! It’s a compilation of security footage of me as I was taken from the incident room, past something that looks like a inside-out electromagnet, down various hallways, into the break room from the time lapse video. At this point it’s really just a break room. Steve is there having coffee and looking mighty freaked out. He and Inger appear to be having an intense conversation, when he suddenly pushes her to the floor and puts a gun to my head. To my unconscious and very defenseless head. What is going on? I should be seeking answers, maybe build a life, but I can’t stay here. What happens if he snaps? Snaps again, I should say, since he’s most certainly the reason I “blacked out” a few weeks ago. The video ends with him getting tackled, wrestled to the ground, and summarily disarmed by security.

I feel numb and helpless and ignorant. And very exposed, I need to get out of here. And the list questions just keeps getting longer:

• What was that orb thing, why did it wipe my memory?
• Will it come back, will it come for me?
• Where did this memory stick come from, who gave it to me and why?
• Why am such I a threat that Steve felt necessary to put a gun to my head even when I was unconscious?

Steve is not in the house now, so this is the perfect time to leave. Everything is unclear except for following: I am Archi. Whatever happened before, whoever I was, that person is gone. I came into being on a hospital bed three months ago. I’m not this Anthony Ames, I’m also not some child, nor a victim. Anthony is just some guy in a video footage who had an accident; maybe he’s a happy memory to some, but he’s just the unknown past to me. Who or what I was is immaterial at this point.

I have a few hours until nightfall, then I’m off. There’s a village a few miles west from here, where I hope I can lay low until morning, then take a bus to the coast. Right now, I’m going to accidentally drop my phone in the toilet. Until it flushes.

End of episode 9. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Thank you for reading.

Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Still going strong with the placeholder image for now but should change soon.

Episode 8 – March 2016

First off, I realise now that the duster was a bad idea. If I need to run, I probably shouldn’t look like a reject from a spaghetti western or a stunt double for a Harry Dresden movie (not that one exists yet, but the world seems to be a bit obsessed with new franchises so I’m not holding my breath). My aim is to blend in, so I traded the duster with Willy for a proper outdoor jacket. It’s blue, for the record. Also started learning a few languages (Spanish, Urdu and Russian) so I can get by, wherever I might end up. Might even become homeless, but it’ll be on my terms. And at least I’ll be able to chat with my fellow transients and beg in the local vernacular.

I do intend to leave. My plan is to take a bus to the nearest railway station and then a direct route out of the country which invariably means a ferry or something. I don’t have a passport, so the airport or the Eurostar are out of the question. Also, I don’t really fancy being trapped in a metal tube going 800 km/h in the sky. I might be inexperienced, but that seems foolish. In an unrelated conversion with Steve he mentioned something about getting killed in a mugging or vaporized by lightning strike being more likely than dying in a plane crash. Sure, but I don’t go looking for any of those. Steve almost exclusively refers to me as Anthony now, and I’ve stopped correcting him. I mean, it really doesn’t matter to me right now, and if it keeps him happy and away from my plans, all the better.

However all this pales to the fact that I broke the password on the memory stick and had my mind thoroughly blown. I got in on my third attempt, using a list of common passwords. The password was “Password1”. Are you serious? That is not security. That’s a child attempting to be clever. If the password is that easy, it’s hardly ‘protected’.

Mind blown – Part one.

And what did I find?

Two video files. I watched both several times yesterday and they’re disturbing. The first one is a 4 minute long video titled ‘Incident_Cam2_1-3.avi’, which I’ll analyse in great detail tonight. It’s unclear what actually happens, but it appears to be a surveillance footage from a laboratory. I couldn’t readily make out the ceiling or side walls, so it must be outside or in a cavernous room. The person in the video is me, and I’m pacing the chamber when a large circular object or hole appears. I can’t tell if it appears around me or in front of the camera, but when it disappears I’m lying lifeless on the floor.

The second video is titled ‘Anthony_Ames_Recovery_Suite_FULL.avi’. It’s a timelapse of my stay in the medical bay with Steve, Inger, and a few other people I don’t recognise, orbiting the gurney while performing medical procedures, or just watching me. Inger really nailed the stand-around-and-observe thing.

This find is really not helping my anxiety. What exactly happened to me? Was that what caused my amnesia? What was that bubble/hole/orb thing? Where did it come from? Can anyone please tell me what’s going on? I feel like I’m getting kicked down the rabbit hole by an unseen boot of circumstance. And is the name in the title my real name?

Other things on the stick;  some sort of software agent that connects to an external database, which I haven’t attempted to use yet. A complete medical record of me, which is also disconcerting to say the least. It refers to monitoring brain patterns for abnormalities, DNA matching and it has a literal confirmation that I am “human”. Human! Why would you need to confirm that? And lastly a David Bowie album.

Mind – seriously – blown – Part two.

I got to go… get away as soon as possible. Clear my head and get some perspective on this mad situation. I still need to get:

• passport or a replacement of some sort (need to research which nationality is most accepted)
• a new uncompromised smartphone (or similar device)
• money, preferably more than one type of currency
• a weapon of some kind

So the plan for now is to:

• go over all the information again
• test the software agent to see if I can get more information
• find whoever gave me this information in the first place

I need a break!

End of episode 8. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Thank you for reading.

Welcome to the next episode of Archi’s Diary, a weekly entry in my favorite amnesiac’s journal as he tries to adjust to a world he doesn’t remember. Still going strong with the placeholder image for now but should change soon.

Episode 7 – February 2016

Good things are not happening.

I’m thinking about leaving this place very soon, to strike out on my own and get some perspective. I managed to get a proper long coat, a modern duster, and a few travel items that aren’t too conspicuous for Steve to question. I don’t trust him anymore. All the support, the connection we made last week, has evaporated on my side, and any potential trust in Inger has ceased.

It started at the dinner last week where Steve and Inger had a few too many glasses of wine and persisted in calling me Anthony. The entire night. Even after I mentioned that it wasn’t my name. I don’t know, maybe it is? I don’t remember. Maybe I am this Anthony person, but if so, why would they tell me differently? They looked saddened, maybe even disappointed, like had I done something wrong when I pointed it out.

After dinner I went out to get some fresh air and to see Willy. We spoke about the memory stick and the associated challenges, diverged into encryption and then human behavior. He mentioned that breakthroughs in code breaking during WWII weren’t just about investigating encryption and applied mathematics, but also into human behavior. People are generally lazy and conceited. Most of the time we do things in a way that requires the least amount of effort, plus we often think no one else thinks like we do. So they made breakthroughs by guessing how soldiers in the field might think and feel and then tested for it.

Note to self: This Bletchley Park place sounds amazing, must go there to learn more.

But before he could continue, Inger and Steve showed up at Willy’s place in the meadows. Not at his home address which is a matter of public record (I mean how many people are named Willy or William in a village of less than 200 hundred people), but at our moon watching spot (it has less light pollution and more favorable weather), and acted as if they were just “happened to be in the area”. They left after a short while but it got me thinking. Am I being followed? What if I’m bugged? What if they put a tracker in one of my molars or under my skin, have my bio-signature on file and designated a satellite to spy on me?

Let’s be rational here. You don’t need some invasive bodily procedure or magic technology to keep track of people. You could just as well use a smartphone. Simple and straightforward. Like ‘Here’s a free toy for Archi, “don’t ever leave home without it”, which begs the question; can they listen in? Are they listening now? I mean, the device is in my bag most of the time, and we usually leave it in the car, so me and Willy have a modicum of privacy; but what about at home? It stays in the bag from now on. This is all so goddamn weird. It feels like the diary entry last week came true. A bit too close for comfort.

Anyway, after Steve and Inger left, we spoke about the prevalence of certain passwords or phrases, patterns that most people think of, that are used for email and social media accounts. How people often use the same password across several different services. Why would you do that? That’s like putting all your digital eggs in one basket and hoping the thief only takes the one. If this is true, then people really are stupid. Or at least conceited. He suggested trying a few of the most commonly used passwords. Apparently there are lists online. Why would a person use a password that is on a list of often used passwords?

In any case, this situation is horrible. I might be watched. I might be someone else, however that works. I feel anxiety all the time and have had a few small panic attacks. I’m scared, and the only person I feel can be trusted I’ve only known for 5 weeks.

I need to leave this place. I need to go. Soon.

End of episode 7. Share, like and follow for weekly updates. Thank you for reading.